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Category: relationships

When life hits hard, hit back harder

The world is out of control. Other people’s perceptions and actions are typically out of your control, and most often unpredictable. Sometimes, you may even feel out of control. You can let it overwhelm you or you can prime your mind, spirit subconscious and body to be proactive and ready for the chaos, for those moments of loss, rejection or failure. Take care of yourself. Focus within and know everything will be fine. Your mind, body and spirit will remain calm, strong, resilient, and you’ll be in a position to handle anything.

I call this my oxygen mask theory.

Without taking care of yourself above all the other problems, daily challenges will grow to the size of mountains until there seems to be little hope. Here is my defense process in a nutshell:

Sleep. Hydrate. Nourish. Exercise. Breath. Fun. Love. Learn. Repeat.

I try to incorporate these often into my daily routine. If I’m missing any, I’m putting myself at risk of entering a rut, and if I’m  missing most or all, I’m surely heading for a downward spiral.

My perspective, from all that I have read, as well as listening to what my body and the feedback I get constantly tells me:

  • Get enough sleep, until you wake up naturally – when you feel in your jaw, the jittery strength of serotonin. Consciously decide when a project, person or problem is worth sacrificing sleep for.
  • Get enough water and electrolytes. They make the difference between forgetful, ADHD-like brain fog and full focus all day long. Your body can eliminate the by-products of metabolizing food and environmental toxins much more efficiently.
  • Get the right foods. I swear by eating fermented foods, while staying away from sugar and processed foods means having a healthy digestive tract,  the ability to digest and absorb nutrients. Having the right biome in the gut produces less toxins that impair physical and mental ability.
  • Get plenty of exercise. Release the endorphines, adrenaline, speed up the metabolism. Being flexible and strong and agile allows you to go the distance, without getting hurt, while purging your system, including your digestive tract.
  • Get air. Big air. I have to consciously clear my sinuses with cold and salinated water in the morning as often as possible. This prevents me from getting headaches, but also calms me. Taking an ice cold shower in the morning shocks my body into breathing and moving blood like nothing else will. Throughout the day, if I’m faced with stress, I tend to breathe shallow or not at all. This is when air is most important.
  • Have fun. I ask myself if this is the life I want to live, and am I having fun. When I write my goals down, I should be writing first what I want to do for fun. A daily fun, weekly fun, monthly fun. Then all the work necessary to get there starts to make sense.
  • Be in love. Be in love with myself most importantly. I want to know myself and embrace my weaknesses as human and just reality. Accepting who I am allows me to accept that I can’t control everything or everyone. So when someone’s opinion of me, their feelings for me, or perception who I am changes, my self-image stays positive and constant. If I can do this, I can love and accept others for who they are as well. Being close, loving and being loved unleashes a confidence  like no other, and it is the true source of courage.
  • Learn from all mistakes and failures, as well as others’ failures. A failed relationship, a failed attempt is a step toward getting things right in the future. Everyone makes them.


It couldn’t make an older brother any happier to see a younger brother start a family and rise up to the challenges of life with someone by his side. I am truly honored that he’d want me to be the one to capture the essence of his engagement, and marriage to come.

© 2022 Jerami

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